in refusal of "playing the game"
plus: open studios starts this weekend!
a photo of the cliffs and ocean at shore acres state park in oregon, during a precious four-day stint of limited screen time
I’ve always struggled to “do what I’m supposed to do” when it chafed with my truth. As a child, I was willful, highly independent and critical of my surroundings. Paradoxically, I was also terrified of “getting into trouble” and clung to perfectionism as a cloak to protect me from “doing the wrong thing” and receiving criticism or punishment.
This made for a very confusing upbringing. My rebellions were small but always linked to my belief in the ridiculousness of the rules and social norms that surrounded me—eating in class, talking in church (that was a big one that the Catholic schools my parents put me in never seemed to pray out of me), swearing (my #1 offense), publishing an underground newspaper (The Pickle) inspired by The Onion which almost got me and my co-editor expelled until the teachers realized it was “the smart kids” putting out such smut.
As I got older, this interesting mix of refusal to accept norms I saw as destructive (or stupid) and desire to please those who were my superiors often resulted in my being the most overworked and least paid in the work place. I also flat out denied any possibility of going the corporate route or working for an ad agency, which likewise did nothing for my bank account.
As I shared in “Trusting my Path,” doing work for “less gross” options like government agencies, higher education, small businesses, non-profits and publishing companies did not shield me from the abhorrent practices of marketing that so turned me off when I was a mere journalism undergrad. I almost even became a nurse (like I enrolled at the community college in required math and science courses I failed to accumulate in college because apparently “The Science of Companion Animals” didn’t cut it), I became so disillusioned with the world of communications after a particularly toxic work experience left me scarred for years.
It wasn’t until I was able to do some healing and decompression from this abusive work environment that I started recognizing ways in which, just maybe, I could do the work I love (because double geminis LOVE creative communications) in a way that actually, really felt aligned with who I am and what I value.
And thus, Society of Air was born, as a communications project of my larger art business, Stained Ghost. This past year has been a wild ride, experimenting with podcasting, new approaches and platforms for newsletters (like this here space), and crafting educational, consulting and service offerings that encourage folks to find ways to work with marketing tools that actually feel aligned, authentic and even enjoyable.
Throughout this year, I’ve worked with many folks who have expressed immense relief in recognizing that it is possible to share their work without feeling slimy, or as though they need to work 40+ hours a week just on their marketing in order to “keep up.” I even had one client tell me that, until she worked with me, she seriously questioned if anyone working in marketing was “actually a human.”
What I’m interested in—and what I want to help others know and experience—is that there are ways in which we can use these tools that do not have to replicate (or at least can minimize) the harm of the systems of domination, extraction and exploitation in which they are built and operate.
Which isn’t easy, especially when everywhere you look is telling you more things that you have to do to “beat the system” in order to “make it work for you.” As I explored in “I’m a Failure at Social Media?",” twenty plus years of working in this field has convinced me this is a LIE that does nothing but make us feel as though we must “play the game” in order to “win.”
Because the thing is, yes, for some folks, embracing such tactics feels great and/or is exactly how they want to run their businesses. But if you feel overwhelmed and frustrated with putting hours and hours of work into growing your social media following just to see a trickle of engagement and no noticeable correlation with actually getting paid, I SEE YOU! …and offer these thoughts:
It’s important to find a way to use these tools that actually works FOR YOU, taking into account your needs and desires—doing so is key to not just feeling good about doing so, but in ensuring the longevity of you being able to stick to it and build your work!
It’s a lie that we have no other options or choice in the matter when it comes to how we approach social media
Yes, there is benefit to having an active social media account for your work, and also…
Developing other ways of connecting with your people has a far greater impact than putting all of your energy, time and creativity into social media
VERY IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER: Social media platforms are NOT built, nor operate, for your, or your work’s, benefit
Centering your focus on aspects of social media that feel good to you—connecting with your community, learning about topics that light you up, expressing yourself creativity…whatever it is!—will be more beneficial than DOING ALL THE THINGS!
It is IMPORTANT to take breaks when you need them! Yes, consistency is important, but also your mental health and happiness is even more so! If you are feeling totally wiped out, or are on vacation, or in the middle of a crisis, TAKE A FUCKING BREAK! YOU get to make the decision to do so, not Marky Z.
remember: you aren’t alone!
get support in sharing your work with summer co-working!
If you are feeling this and also are like “okay great, but how do I actually get myself to do these marketing tasks?,” join the “Share Your Magic Co-working & Support” summer session, starting June 25!
Share Your Magic Co-working & Support Summer Session
Every other Tuesday (June 25-Sept. 3)
5-7 p.m. PST over zoom
Sliding Scale pricing: $33-$55 (as a thank you for your support, paid subscribers of Double Gemini receive $11 off with code here!)
Learn more about how this co-working community is here to provide you with encouragement, accountability and inspiration when it comes to sharing YOUR magic here!
even more support to know it is okay! you’ll be okay!
If you want even more support and encouragement in knowing it is OKAY to cut back on your social media exposure, check out this podcast episode of Common Shapes and “I Quit Instagram” on
from and the Off the Grid podcast from Amelia Hruby!
this weekend starts open studios!!!!!
north coast open studios, may 31 (6-9 p.m.), june 1-2 & june 8-9 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.)
shop vintage, art, natural fiber clothing and more!
5118 jacoby creek rd. bayside
Get ready for amazing treasures for your home and bod when I join Jennifer Harris of Juniper & Sparrow at her home studio in Bayside for Open Studios!
For opening night on Friday, May 31, come by to enjoy cocktails and light refreshments! All weekend long shop art and vintage magic from myself, and from Jennifer, new pieces from Juniper & Sparrow, past designs on SALE(!), more vintage treasures, and deeply discounted denim, jewelry and shoes from Angelica! Jen will also be blessing the mix with some good ole fashion rummage sale fun—it’s going to be a true treasure hunt for all y’all stylish babes out there!
Stay tuned for more info on what we’ll be offering and follow Stained Ghost on ig for looks at the hot treasures that will be available!
Thanks for being here y’all! Hope you are getting some sunshine and time to RELAX!
xo—Holly
let’s connect!
interwebs: stainedghost.com
ig: @stainedghost
join co-working at $11 off!
To be part of this summer’s Share Your Magic Co-working & Support community at a steal of a deal, check out this week’s accountability thread for your hot discount code! ;-)
tell me what you want!
In this on-going experiment/experience of Double Gemini, I’d love to hear from YOU, dear reader, about what YOU’D love to see from this space and my offerings.
This question is posed to all y’all out there, tho it is particularly for those who support this work financially, as I want to provide you with offerings that honor your exchange! I’m so grateful for you in helping make this project happen — so lmk by commenting below what YOU’D like to see in the future from Double Gemini!
weekly accountability threads to support your visions
Paid subscribers receive access to the weekly Society of Air Circle accountability thread every week, to share the previous week’s experiences and name the intentions and goals you have for the week to come. Paid subscribers can access this week’s thread here.
