cycles of life (and creativity)

letting go of what has come before

myself, with my tree friends :*-(

Without getting too into metaphors about how life/creativity is just like nature (because it’s all the same thing, yo!), I’ve been reflecting lately on the cycle of life and how necessary it is to compost the old in order to grow the new. (Very timely with the spring quinox right around the corner, yes?)

The last few months have been a lot—a lot going on, while continuing to slog through the low energy vibe of the tail end of winter. I’ve been feeling my feelings and have been increasingly aware, as I explored last week, that I’m replicating many of the harmful work and life patterns/habits I’ve been socialized in throughout the years. Part of the work I’m now doing has been to slow down and reflect on how I’m operating—how I think, act and react, and what ways are no longer serving me/aligned with how I want to be living my life.

SPOILER ALERT: as a 41-year-old living in late stage capitalism in the U.S., there’s an awful lot that falls into that category. The frustrating thing is that even when I know I don’t want to be acting a certain way, it’s not super easy to just change how I’ve been programmed to be my entire life. In fact, it’s downright uncomfortable to change how I approach things, how I set boundaries, how I talk to myself and how I plan out my time.

Because, as I was reminded in last week’s moon group, change, even when it is change for the better, doesn’t necessarily feel good. It can feel uncomfortable, and unsafe, because there’s an element of the unknown, the unfamiliar. And while embracing the unknown can bring us to the most magical heights, doing so takes a certain amount of trust that, when we have been habitually taught NOT to trust ourselves, our intuition and power, can be hard to come by.

This discomfort isn’t just coming up in releasing toxic conditioning; I’ve also been finding old creative projects resurfacing, and recognizing that, while some are ready to blossom, others are ready to be composted to allow for the growth of others. And still, it can be really hard to say “good bye” to something that, at one point, I was SO jazzed on and ready to birth into the world for all to enjoy!

And thus, I’m finding comfort in reflecting on the cycles of life and how they are showing up in the natural world around me.

I had quite the breakdown when I discovered that the city was cutting down four of the only mature trees in our crappy, tree-less neighborhood’s park. While grieving the loss of the familiar beings I talked to almost every morning, my partner reminded me that as painful as it is to witness the lives of these giants being literally cut down due to mundane concerns like “safety” and “cracks in the sidewalk,” everything that is alive does, at some point die—and, in the natural world, the death of one being breaks down into life for another through the process of composting and decay. I was somewhat further mollified by the parks department’s insurance that they would be “replaced by a species more suited to the area,” but still, it stung, knowing something so familiar and beautiful would be with us no more.

Sometimes the death and change of something is outside of our control, like with the trees, and other times, it is through our own doing that such change takes place, as I experienced when, in a fit of attempting to “weed” the grass from the various garden spots at our home, I ripped up one of two California poppies that have actually took out of the countless plants I’ve introduced to this land over the last five plus years.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I felt like I was going to be sick, realizing what I had just done by not paying attention and slowing down. But even there, I knew that every dead plant in the garden breaks down to build the soil into a healthy ecosystem. It may be sad to see something destroyed, but to know that it is making way for new growth is comforting.

So while again and again, I’m finding the death of my own toxic patterning, as well as the letting go of creative dreams of the past, to be difficult, I find solace in the fact that, in the essence of spring, beings grow out of decay of the death that’s come before.

words for energetic sovereignty

In becoming aware of the ways in which my brain unconsciously falls into habits of CONSTANT WORK, I noticed the other day while I was hiking in the woods with my dog that I was thinking about emails I had received that did NOT need to be attended to at that moment, and decided I needed to boost my trust in my control over my thinking, and thus, started saying the below statements to myself over and over. May they support you if you find yourself in a similar situation of your brain being pulled into harmful spirals rooted in false notions around your value, productivity, people pleasing and/or perfectionism.

I have power and agency over my thoughts, my attention, and my energy.

My thoughts, my attention and my energy are mine, and I choose how to bestow them upon the earth.

fun stuff!

art fun

spring creators support call—open to all!

thursday, march 21, at noon PST

That’s right! I’ve decided that this month’s Creators Support Call will be open to ALL subscribers of Double Gemini! This month is feeling so RIPE with growth and blossoming, I wanted to offer the opportunity for everyone in this community to come together to share what they’ve been working on and connect with one another. Zoom info will be sent out the day prior to our call next Thursday, can’t wait to see you there!

painting with plants

intuitive painting workshop, saturday, march 30

2-4 p.m. at the Makers Space in McKinleyville

Come and join in the fun for one last “Painting with Plants” workshop at the Makers Space on March 30! This will just be one offering on that day as the Sea Goat Farmstand will be hosting their Easter egg hunt, craft fair, farm-to-table brunch and other workshops to welcome spring in!

Whether or not you consider yourself “an artist,” join the workshop here to create your very own intuitive painting, aided by the energies of flower essences!

“joy is here”

community art show at the brenda tuxford gallery

12-5 p.m. thursdays and fridays through march

If you missed last weekend’s opening, you can still experience the joy! Swing by the gallery at 422 1st. St. in Eureka to take in the art of 12 local artists through the month of March!

lovin’

After feeling a serious drought when it came to feeling inspired, the flood gates have opened and everything FEELS ALIVE. Here are some of my fav things:

The Infinite Crescendo portal & podcast

After months of excitedly awaiting the release of Carly Jo Carson and Paul Butler’s transcendental sound/breathwork journey offering, it is HERE and it does not disappoint! Especially recommend the podcast episode featuring Laraaji!

Dallas Acid’s Bubble Club, Vol. 1

Speaking of Laraaji, I’ve been blasting these peace vibin’ sonic landscapes all over the place and am convinced that if every human listened to this album daily, all the world’s problems would evaporate (be warned, however, that while it is certainly an antidote to road rage, it also can make one feel very sleepy while driving because RELAX'N!)

NORTHERN IS FINALLY STREAMING!

Okay, so I really, really hate Amazon, but I have to say that I am THRILLED that THE BEST SHOW IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE is FINALLY available to stream online. Yes, Northern Exposure, the 90’s slice of life in Cicely Alaska, is now available to anyone with a Prime account (or a loved one’s login) for all the good feels and soothing views. (Also highly recommend going old school with a set of DVDs, sans the 6th lost/not real/just don’t even watch season).

Cupping Yoga at Tosha Yoga!

I’ve been feeling re-inspired to do things like exercise/meditate/see people and was super pumped to learn that my friend Jacqueline is now offering Cupping Yoga at Tosha Yoga in Arcata on Thursdays, from noon-1. It’s truly like an experience like none other!

Art Witch podcast is back!

YES!

Zaneta

, of

Moon Pool

is back with monthly collective creativity tarot readings, along with a little dive into the energies we can work with for the strength year. HIGLY recommend Zaneta’s work for inspiring, supporting and encouraging your creative practice!

Hope the week to come brings you much sunshine and blooming energy! Thanks for being here <3

xo—Holly

let’s connect!

interwebs: stainedghost.com

ig: @stainedghost

p.s. if you are in a space—and would like to— support my work financially, you will also enjoy:

• a weekly Society of Air Circle thread for posting your practice/work/life goals and intentions for the week—and sharing how the week prior went. Virtual accountability buddies for all!

• a monthly “Creators Support Group” zoom call for artists, small biz owners, healers and social change makers looking to connect, and find—and give—encouragement and support with others doing rad things in the world

• discounts on creative and communications support offerings

and more!

march creators support call

next thursday 21.march.24 at noon pst on zoom

As I noted about, this month’s creators support call next Thursday will be open to all Double Gemini subscribers, in order to widen our scope of connection as we reflect on and share what seeds we are planting in the months to come. I absolutely am SO appreciative of all of y’all who support this work financially and hope that, in opening up this month’s call, you reap the benefit of connecting with even more folks in this community!

weekly accountability threads to support your visions

Paid subscribers receive access to the weekly Society of Air Circle accountability thread every Monday, to share the previous week’s experiences and name the intentions and goals you have for the week to come. Paid subscribers can access this past week’s thread here.